


The Darkness Comforts Me More (Felix x Byleth)

by Not_a_Siren



Category: FE3H, Feleth, Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, bylix
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Depression, Destiny, F/M, Fate, Feleth - Freeform, Felix is an insomniac, Female Byleth, Insomnia, Love, Missing piece, Nightmares, Pain, Pining, Post War, Timeskip, bylix - Freeform, discovery of feelings, felileth, oc byleth, prewar, short byleth, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21743656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_a_Siren/pseuds/Not_a_Siren
Summary: Though a young Dimitri and Byleth has formed a bond of sorts during their school days as student and professor, that bond couldn’t outweight the intensity of which Felix and Byleth began to realize they were one another’s missing piece. Everyone expects the soon to be king to wed the professor as soon as he claims the throne, but the reality is that while the child of feigning light and brightness holds out his hand, the swordsman that’s been lurking within the depths of shadows and darkness has already grabbed onto hers.~~~~~~Also where Felix and Byleth find that they are one another's missing piece that provokes new emotions and thoughts from one another.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & My Unit | Byleth (friendship), Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth (pining), Felileth - Relationship, Felix Hugo Fraldarius & My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Original Female Character(s), Mercedes von Martritz/Dedue Molinaro, Sylvain Jose Gautier/My Unit | Byleth (pining), bylix - Relationship, feleth - Relationship
Comments: 24
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Byleth is short in this for different purposes and had a few more flaws so she isn't just some bait to the audience in a way.

It had been five days of the professor’s absence.

A freshly young woman that could handle any battle thrown at her on the spot, a punctual advisor and brilliant tactician, was now tucked away in her room.

Byleth spent a large majority of her life void of many emotions. Her humor was expressed through a girlish snort or chuckle at most, her anger was the equivalent of facing a brick wall that refused to acknowledge the offender’s existence or pretended nothing was the matter, and her sadness was just a residing void of never having a mother figure.

That’s all there was to her really.

He remembered after the battle; Sylvain and Dimitri arguing about something useless to do with lances alongside Ingrid who couldn’t make up her damn mind over the matter.

Dimitri had shown his true colors that once plagued his nightmares from the Battle of Duscur when Glenn passed. His anger bubbling at the thought of no one paying it any mind or addressing it after the diseased villagers were taken care of. Now they took care of the demonic beasts that happened to be students and he saw that look flash across his face when he went to call out an incoming swipe directed towards him.

_That boar… does no one see the chaos lying beneath?_

He couldn’t stand to be around him within that moment, his mind swirling with hurt and anger from the past and now.

He stalked off, he wanted this day to end and he needed to wash up to rid himself of the stench of sweat and blood. He was alone when he stumbled upon a scene where Jeralt was conversing with Monica and Byleth was waiting nearby looking tired and wanting to rest.

Because he was alone, he let his tired mind indulge in the random thoughts he had been having of his professor lately. Like how when she was exhausted, her breathing differed with subtle visibility as she sometimes held the air a bit longer and her cheeks puffed up for a fraction of a second each time. How she stood as tall as Hilda or Bernadette even in those boot heels, but she paid no mind about how others may tower over her and freely looked up with just her eyes when she was tired when talking.

It would take years for Felix to admit he loved when she tilted her head up to look at him when speaking- prompting his ears to grow hot as his mind struggled to acknowledge the thought of her being cute in his eyes.

Or her cocky eye roll and that snort only she could pull off as Sylvain or Claude tried to crack a joke about her height and looking young like the rest of them.

He often caught her staring off, her face reacting minimally but enough for someone as observant as him to notice.

_It looks like she’s talking with someone in her head._

He became acutely aware of the things she did within the monastery and on the battlefield. He hated it; hated that he couldn’t control his thoughts or feelings.

Maybe it was this moment that opened a door for him as to who Byleth really was.

He was in the middle of rubbing tiredly at one eye when he noticed a flash of anger, hatred, fear and pain hit her face as she reached for the Sword or Creator, the blade already erupting in flames as she hurried to step forwards. The look in her eyes was murderous and aimed towards Monica.

_Does he stop her? Is he supposed to join forces with her?_

Monica had already occupied his thoughts in terms of her being different since being found. She had seemed too cheery and okay with what happened. Felix didn’t trust her at all, but then again he didn’t trust most to start with.

He had only managed to reach for the handle of his sword -ultimately deciding to back Byleth up because she wouldn’t set out against anyone without reason- when Monica darted out behind Jeralt with a smirk and reached for a dagger, her intent already clear when another person showed up and did the bidding for her and saved Monica before Byleth’s sword could save her father.

And then she was left alone on the field, holding her dying father in her arms as she began sobbing. He didn’t notice his fellow classmates catching up with him and having seen from a distance what happened, he didn’t notice that look flash across the boar’s face yet again, he didn’t notice a lot of things that weren’t Byleth.

She was crying and clutching him tighter as he muttered his last words to her and then she let out a bloodcurdling scream that racked his entire body with the pain she felt as it carried on several seconds with immense vocal range he didn’t know she had.

She was exhausted and in an overwhelming amount of pain and anger that she soon found herself wavering as she continued to cry. And she, herself, didn’t notice a set of armored arms quickly catching her as she tipped backwards before blackness set in.

The students followed in a hurry as Dimitri and Sylvain worked to carry Jeralt’s body carefully to Manuela in hopes of reviving him. Ingrid grabbed her sword and Mercedes shouted healing spells at the dying man.

It was the first time they were on the battlefield without the guidance of their professor who was tucked under Felix’s chin and nuzzled into his neck as he ran back to the monastery, shouting orders in her place alongside Dimitri.

_It had been five days._

Five days and Felix found himself worried like he had never been. He helped bury Jeralt’s body with Sylvain and Dimitri, watching as they covered the wooden casket and seeing the man who cherished his professor more than anyone in the world. It struck hard with him as he forced himself out of the scene and fighting off any memories that dared to resurface.

He couldn’t sleep later on, whether it was the worrying that kept him awake staring at his ceiling or Sylvain’s latest breakup, or the bout of insomnia only Sylvain and Mercedes were aware of, he would never know. In the end, he found himself wandering around the monastery like many nights had brought him to do. Light on his feet as he learned to correct through his spars with the professor, he wasn’t heard in the night. He wore his uniform that was halfway buttoned despite the chill in the air, fully expecting to spend the entire night awake and then head to a seminar maybe when the others woke as well.

He was just edging the bridge that connected to the church when he caught site of dark teal swaying in the wind. His foot steps stopped abruptly as his breath caught at the woman who had been locked up in her room. She wore her riding shorts and her black top without the armor or laced tights, her jacket gone and replaced with a thin robe she must use for bed, and her neck bare of the connecting collar piece. Her feet were shoeless as she stood on the half wall of the bridge, crying quietly and forcing down choked noises that didn’t pass the swordsman’s ears. He approached carefully from behind her.

She was mumbling to herself, barely intelligible enough to understand but he heard words and phrases such as, “I can’t”, “sorry,” “Sothis”, and the one that made his stomach drop, “I give up.”

Her foot moved to step off the bridge ledge as Felix ran up behind her and caught ahold of her waist before she fell forwards. He yanked her roughly as she let out a startled gasp and tumbled backwards with him into the middle of the bridge walkway. It was a second before she started kicking and trying to fight her way out of his clasp to finish what she started. Felix held on tighter for every blow, gritting his teeth and sitting them upwards as he pushed them both backwards with his feet until he was leaning against the wall with her in his arms.

“Let me go, Fraldarius!” She growled and pushed at his arms as they clung tighter to her.

“Professor, please stop this!” She kept going, her nails reaching up and making contact with his jaw down towards his neck, leaving red marks in their wake as he bit down, “Professor you have to stop this idiotic scheme and calm down!”

“Fuck you, fuck everyone. I don’t want to keep going anymore.” She was halfway out of his strong arms and hold when he yanked her back down and his face was inches from hers.

“Fucking test me, Byleth.” He hissed, his amber eyes glared her dark teal ones down as hers suddenly seemed more awake and shocked at her name slipping from his lips. “Do you think this is the right choice? Do you think you can solve all your problems by giving up and leaping off this bridge? Killing yourself won’t ease the pain, it’ll just spread it to everyone else.”

His eyes eased up and panic filled them as her nose scrunched up and her face fell in dispair, her lips trembled as whimpers passed them. He wasn’t sure when he moved, but his left hand quickly cupped the back of her neck and brought her face to rest in the crook of his own neck as his right arm supported her weight that laid in his lap, slanted and shaking. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders, clinging on as if she would fall from the bridge without his support to keep her grounded.

His cheek leaned into her hair as he felt hot tears gliding down his neck and chest before they became one with his uniform. Her sobs vibrated against his own chest and her shivering became more pronounced.

Somewhere in the far depths of his mind did he acknowledge that fact that he never acted this way around anyone, somewhere did he realize he has never openly comforted anyone as well, somewhere in those depths did he realize he’s never touched anyone like this or gotten close to anyone as he was now.

_Was she breaking a wall of his down?_

No, that’d be impossible.

He nosed her teal hair, “Prof-,” she shook her head and made a negative noise in response. “Byleth, let me take you to your room.” She was still crying but keeping it quiet, “You’re freezing, Byleth. You can’t handle the cold like most of us can, you’ve said so yourself.”

He gently pried her face upwards, his hand holding her cheek that was puffy from the exhaustion. His thumb wiped away at the tears, “Please, let me take you to your bed, Byleth.” He was shocked at his own whispered tone, even further more when she nodded and he found himself guiding her face back to where it was before he stood up with her small frame in his arms, walking the long trek back to her room.

Neither spoke the whole way, they accepted the silence of the darkness and emptied their minds of the nightmarish thoughts that would soon come. Felix wanted to say something snarky and cold, wanted to restablish his personality to prevent tonight from alluding he had developing feelings towards his professor. His mouth opened to bite out a comment about her getting his uniform wet, glancing down to point a glare at her.

His words died in his throat at the sight of her bottom lip quivering against his skin. Instead, his mouth shut tightly and he brought her closer, brushing the tip of his nose against her hair that smelled of roses.

He figured she must’ve chosen to bathe at night in the bathhouse of the monastery when everyone was in bed.

He shifted her light weight to quietly open the door to her room, only a few candles lit here and there by Manuela during her visits to coax Byleth out of the room. He sat on the edge of her bed sideways, leaning down to carefully unwrap her arms from his neck and guided her to lay on her side. His hand brushed her hair out of her face, wiping away a few tears before he shifted some and grabbed her royal blue blanket she was gifted by his class. He pulled it to her shoulders and squeezed one gently before he stood up to make his leave.

His body stilled when he felt a small hand grasp his wrist, “I, I’m-,” he turned to see her sitting up, her eyes on her hand. She breathed deeply, “I’m not great with my words, and this may be wildly inappropriate given my position here, but,” she fumbled some more.

He found himself forcing his usual bitter tone, “Professor, spit it out. I don’t have all night.”

To his surprises, he saw the corner of her mouth twitch upwards. Her eyes met his and he willed his racing mind to calm down. “Got more damsels in distress to save from an insomnia filled night? ( _Because of course she noticed he was an insomniac_ ). Isn’t chivalry dead in your eyes?”

“You think I’d rather have it that you were dead in front of my very eyes?” He barked back in a hushed tone, hissing through his teeth. Her mouth parted ever so slightly, eyes taking in his state. Amber stared back into her, genuine terror reflected back at her that was hidden behind anger, and his chest stuttered. He faced her fully, “Professor,” she nearly rolled her eyes.

“Professor, Professor, Professor. That’s all I hear everyday. I can’t remember the last time it felt more like a nickname than an obligation.” Hands came up to push back her hair, bangs mixing with the longer strands.

Felix can’t remember a time where he had seen her face fully with her hair out of the way; staring longer than he should, noting the dark black eyebrows that made her teal eyes seem ever more mesmerizing. The lack of shadow on her small button nose that light bounced off the tip of. She had a slim face, but her cheeks were puffy in a way you had to take a great notice of.

“Then what do you suppose I call you?”

“Call me by my name,” her legs hung off the edge of the bed, dangling. “We already crossed a line on the bridge. You’re quiet and reserved so there’s little chance you’ll out me to the church about what happened. Take this as a sign of trust.”

“Fine.” He took a glance at the door, “Well, _Byleth,_ Ishould take my leave.” He spoke turning his back to her as he made way to the door.

“Felix,” her voice was quiet.

“What is it now?”

The sound of rustling came from behind him as she stood up, hand resting on his shoulder, “You don’t have to leave, you can stay and sleep here.”

He swung around to face her, “By goddess, what the hells do you mean by that?” _Surely she couldn’t mean…_

Byleth’s hand fell to her side, her lips twitched up for a split second, “I mean you’re not going to get sleep and I’m sure helping me tonight didn’t ease the cause.”

“I,” he stumbled for words, his mind racking for an answer and sense of the situation she laid before him.

He wanted to stay, and at the same moment he wanted to run away from her and pretend the whole night in its entirety never occurred. She terrified him. Everything about her drew him in and it terrified him to bits. He spent almost his whole life without feelings that were beyond mundane in his eyes. Even as a child, Dimitri, Sylvain, and Ingrid could attest to the fact that was a bratty child with manners and polite behavior.

_Could he drown himself in her? Could he throw himself into the depth of the unknown that was beyond his element?_

He dared not to consider the word that could explain everything he felt entirely. He was smart enough to know that once he did, he wouldn’t be able to ignore or look back.

Those dark teal eyes stared up at him, the very same eyes that the class joked about looking dead and bored to all living hells. He noticed just like they did. But now, all he could notice was the variety of emotions that laid underneath. The brightness that was hidden by pain and grief, trying to push past and show him this new side to her.

He hadn’t realized he was inching closer to her and leaning down until she blinked and her long lashes pulled him out of his trance long enough for the panic to set in.

“I, I should go. I’ll see you when you return to class, Professor.” He rushed out as carefully as he could, ears in flames of embarrassment. He nearly ran out the door with the thought of feigning composure on his mind.

By the time Felix reached his room, his mind had already been consumed by thoughts of Byleth.

He sat on the edge of his bed, hands making quick work of his uniform top as he shrugged it off and felt cool air hit his heated skin. The swordsman laid back, hands pushing his own bangs back from his flushed face as thoughts settled deep into his mind. His hands held alongside his temples as his eyes pierced into the darkness, mouth panting slightly with only sharp, bottom canines peaking out.

He had always been composed, itching for a fight and spar all day, yes, but he was composed and made of steel.

_Made of steel that would crumble in the wake of Byleth Eisner._

Besides, he couldn’t possibly be a possibility for her. There was Dimitri, the prince who was so damn smitten with her, it drove Felix up the wall with the lack of subtly he eluded. He had no room in Byleth’s life besides to spar with her.

Even so, the young man found himself awake another hour or so before he was cursing to the night and stalking out the door with his uniform jack being shoved on without a care for the buttons. He was quick to make way down the stairs and through the grass, up the other set of stairs before he found himself opening the door to her room and closing it behind him.

“Felix?”, she sat in her desk chair, tea cup in hand and to her chest. She had changed in the time he had been gone for she was dressed in a silk blue slip nightie that reached above her knees, her thin robe still covering her as well. He once overheard Annette and Ingrid talking of such nightwear clothing before class and how it was most often found in other lands beyond Fodlàn. Maybe he wasn’t alright in the head, maybe he had taken one too many blows and had lost some sense in him for he couldn’t bring himself to appreciate the expanse of skin or subtle curves of her body as much as he should’ve. He kept looking at her eyes and her nose and brows, being drawn in by her face far more than her body that sat cross legged in front of him.

The very same woman that once beat the boys in an arm wrestling match and flipped Felix onto his back during a sparring match was now showing every bit of femininity he forgot laid beneath to a mercenary like her. Even her nails on her feet were flower stained blue from the forget me nots growing in the greenhouse nursery. Felix knew she was attractive beyond words, he did more than a few lingering glances the first day she taught because he was bewildered how a woman like her could fight like a dying man on his last bit of adrenaline with the strength of well, Dimitri breaking scissors.

_Not as strong of course._

“Felix? You came back.” She titled her head up at him as he walked over to her chair, her bangs brushed out of her face leaving the entirety of it exposed. He nodded, swallowing hard as she set the cup down and stood to meet him. Her hand reached out to cup his cheek, “Could you not sleep?”

His lips parted once to answer, the warmth of her hand seeping into his skin. He didn’t recoil at her touch, didn’t throw her hand to the side and forced a stern look her way. He felt bile rise to his throat instead, her eyes suffocating him in a way he’s never felt as he towered over her. He swallowed it down and tried to think of it as a sparring lesson between the two to ease his nerves.

“No, I couldn’t.”

“When was the last time you were able to?”

He blinked, trying to recall the last day. “I got at least five hours before the demonic battle. Lately, it’s been one to three hours each night or none at all.” It was easy to talk to her, easy to answer her.

“How often does this happen?”

_Almost about every other night since Glenn died._

“Often.” He nearly missed the affectionate look that passed her eyes before they were swallowed by concern.

Her hand was so warm and soft despite the faint callous marks from wielding a sword. “When I first saw you, I knew right away that you must be plagued by insomnia and sleepless nights more often than not.” Her free hand came up to trace gently under his eyes as he stared at her, more of the wall crumbling in the wake of her touch as he found himself leaning into her hand. “Your eyes are so beautiful and surreal, it almost made sense they be weighed out by the goddess to suffer lone and awake nights.”

Felix didn’t know she could say words like this, didn’t know she was capable of thinking thoughts with such depth. She was brilliant and intelligent beyond compare, but she never expressed this side of herself.

_She noticed him so early on?_

He didn’t flinch at her words, didn’t need to suppress an eye roll either. Instead he leaned his forehead down to hers. “Byleth,..”.

“I’m sorry.” Her hand readjusted itself on his cheek, other following suit until she gently held his face in her hands. Her thumb shyly traced over his bottom lip, sometimes catching it without realization and dragging it out to reveal his straight set of white teeth people had only ever seen in a menacing bearing of them. “I’m sorry you saw me tonight, and I’m sorry you saw me on the battlefield before Monica-,” she closed her eyes, forcing down a sob that threatened to make way. His right hand came to hold one wrist to his cheek, his left hovering over her waist until he took the plunge of a dagger to carefully hold her. “You’ve caught me twice this week, I’m eternally grateful it was you to save me.”

“I don’t, I don’t know what that means.” Her skin was warm and he savored the heat radiating off her while she shivered close to him.

“I don’t either. I just know that you were the one to catch me as I lost consciousness and stability on the field, and you were the one to save me from myself a moment ago.” Her nose brushed up against his, the temptation to lean down and bring their lips together was reeling in his mind for the first time outside of his dreams. “I also know that while he exonerates this ray of light and hope for the kingdom, you’re there in the dark by chance, ready to draw a sword if anyone steps in my path.” He doesn’t have to ask to know she’s talking of Dimitri.

“I think you may be right. I think that may be my purpose.”

“You make me question whether or not I believe in fate and destiny.”

“Me?” Felix pulled back, surprise etched onto his sharp, handsome features.

“You have since we met at the Goddess Tower, I wasn’t going to go but I found myself there and you as well.” She was looking up at him again, that may just be a mere weakness of his.

And he _hates_ staring, but after the insistent tea parties she has with every student and him, he’s starting to relax at the gesture.

“I just felt a strong need to breakaway from the crowd, I don’t do well in them.”

“I know that better than anyone.” She stood on tiptoes, one arm wounding around his neck as the other slid down to place a hand over his chest where his heart laid beneath.

He prayed to the goddess she couldn’t feel how anxious he was feeling.

“Byleth,” her name rolled off his tongue far easier than a mere “professor” did. Her hand nearly scorched his skin that was bare under it. “I feel as though I should take my leave.”

Her button nose nudged his again, “What do you want to do?”

“Stay here.” Felix responded fast and assertive, his hand reaching to hold hers to his chest.

“That’s very unlike you.”

He let out a short and quiet chuckle, “Seeing you like this? That’s very unlike you yourself.”

“Is it that awful?” Her voice was barely audible to his ears.

_Did she really think this side to her wasn’t worthy to be seen by anyone? If anything, people weren’t worthy to see it themselves._

His mind acted on its own accord, new thoughts and ideas swirling in his head as he felt his lips connect with her cheek. “I’m drawn to this side as much as I’m drawn to you around the monastery and you caked in blood and sweat on the battlefield with a sword in your hand.” He was panicking; unable to suppress thoughts he had tucked away in the far corners of his mind. Everything was rising to the surface as he felt a new part of himself step forwards that was hidden away with his feelings for the mercenary.

And at the same time, it felt as though he could finally breathe for the first time in a long while.

She peered up at him, a woman with immense might and power, and she looked small and fragile within this moment. Someone that could slay thousands of men if forced to was being held by him like she could break.

His heart nearly collapsed.

She stepped backwards, hand coming down with his in tow, fingers interlaced by goddess knows who or when. He followed her, watching as she blew out the few candles when a thought occurred.

“What about Professor Manuela?”

“I have it on good authority she’ll be nursing a major head pain tomorrow morning and avoiding the outside aroma as it ‘sickens her since love isn’t real and nothing is beautiful besides her’, she won’t be seeing me tomorrow unless it’s beyond afternoon.” She raised the final candle close to him, ready to blow out the final one and set it on the desk behind him, when she let go of his hand instead. “Felix,” she started, eyes flashing with immense guilt.

He knew his typical response would’ve been impatient, telling her to get on with it so he would know what was keeping her, but that part of him that he was unaware of being devoted to her took the reigns of handling his natural reactions that Felix didn’t want to resurface in front of her right now.

_Especially if they are directed at her._

It wasn’t a split in his personality per se, and it wasn’t another identity living in his head. It was Felix, finding a lost part of himself unknowingly that was left in debris and rubble.

He went to ask what was wrong when her hand gently titled his head up and angled it, finger tracing along the skin of his jaw to his neck. He hissed, wincing even as she touched the undamaged portion of the skin that was too close to her claw marks. “Shit,” was all he managed out, jerking out of her grasp by habit. 

Her hand drew back, “Felix, I’m so incredibly sorry and ashamed for doing that to you. I can’t excuse harming you, I can only say I was trapped within my own thoughts and motives that I must not have broke out in time even as you grabbed hold of me. I don’t expect forgiveness or understanding, I just need you to know I regret it happened and I didn’t do it to intentionally harm you.”

Felix looked at her, catching her eyes lingering on the red trail he hadn’t realized was there after the moment passed. Grief for him and a sense of her being apologetic filled her eyes, but no sense of a desire to be let off so easily like a child would want. _Regardless,.._

He stepped closer, index finger lifting her small chin up as she tore her glare away from her offending marks and met his eyes, now focusing on the dark, hollowed marks under them that she noticed from day one.

“Byleth, I know what it’s like to be on the battlefield in your own mind, alone. It’s a terrifying experience and I understand that you were protecting yourself in some twisted way that would’ve done worse for you in the end.” His hands trailed down to her arms, “I’m okay, I’m more concerned with you at the moment and rather glad I received these marks than caught you a second too late.” His jaw tightened painfully for a few seconds as he tore his stare elsewhere to get the image from his head. “My point is, it was a moment of weakness. Even the greatest heroes can have them and should be granted them, as long as they have someone behind them ready to save the day and help.” 

She reached for his hands, interlacing their fingers. “I figured you would give me the hardest time for it.”

“I may be a simple man on the outside, Byleth, but I’m far more complex than one could imagine.” He pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist, “I’m thankful for these scratches just as I am thankful to have you in front of me. We can worry about the marks in the morning, for now let me sleep and you can consider yourself more than forgiven.”

He let out a soft smile when she nodded, unaware of the rare reaction from the swordsman as she pulled the covers back. Felix pulled the uniform top off, resting it on her chair as he stepped out of his shoes and followed her under the blankets. His heart hammered in his chest and he was a few steps from being just anxious, but he settled to the idea of her pushing her pillow further up the bed for him, his right arm extending across the span of the bed. And he became sedated when she opted to use his arm for a pillow instead, her robe-soft back hitting his chest as his left arm hung heavily over her waist, rounding along to the edge of her stomach. 

“I’m going to force you to eat more, Eisner. You missed a few meals already.”

She hummed, shifting her back some more until he leaned his chest closer to her, “I’ll comply only if you eat with me.”

“You insatiable woman,” he mumbled out, halfheartedly as he maneuvered some to grab hold of her right hand that had been closest to her face, interlocking their fingers together once again. His voice dropped to a whisper, thumb stroking patterns over her skin, “Byleth, I don’t know what this is or what it means.” 

“I know, I don’t either. I just feel,” she trailed off.

“Feel what?”

She tilted her body ever so slightly to meet his eyes, “I feel as though you are my greatest shield against myself and the evil out there. I feel that I need you in ways that are beyond my comprehension as of now.” She saw his startled look, turning back as her eyes started to grow heavy. 

“I think you may be the closest thing to a powerful impacting vulnerary to me.” She mumbled a response, her words lost to sleep. Felix felt his own mind become fuzzy and felt a wave of drowsiness hit him stronger than ever. He pressed a chaste kiss into her hair, “Then I’ll be your shield that’s in the shadows if that’s what you need, Byleth.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks to the past of times Felix felt his resolve breaking. Byleth’s got some cute canines to molars that are subtly pointed and rounded and not as squared as they typically should be and Felix is loving it. Leonie is a bitch, no cap.

He awoke an hour before sunrise, surprised he slept as long as he did to begin with.

Felix rubbed at his face with his left hand, briefly attempting to yank his right free that felt too heavy for being under a pillow before he felt silk rub against his chest. Stilling, he opened his eyes to see that teal hair splayed just underneath the pillow he was on and across the small space on the bed. Even in a sleep induced haze, it didn't take a genius to figure out who was sleeping so soundly next to him that had that colored hair and that small of a frame with faint scars in various places.

He propped himself up slightly with his elbow, briefly remembering the night before that started in fear and ended in the beginnings of the word he refused to acknowledge. Deft and slender fingers gently moved to pull some of her hair back that covered her face, only freezing when she mumbled in her sleep and inched backwards a fraction to subconsciously search for him. He basked in the isolation that filled the room around them as he was the only one awake and let himself watch her in fascination that he always found himself suppressing daily.

He did his share of her efforts and moved closer to her, his left hand carefully grabbing just below her shoulder to guide her to his chest she sought for in slumber.

Something _clicked_ within him faintly. He nearly startled in response to the feel of warmth flooding his entire body and the sense of belonging being found. Mutely -and without much awareness from the newly discovered emotions -he leaned forwards, fingertips skirting up and down her silk, robe cladded arm. His nose nuzzled through her hair and his lips parted as thoughts consumed him.

He was laying in bed with his teacher that was a handful of years older than him (though he never minded since there had been more drastic age gaps among couples across the kingdom and empire and four years seemed to not hold much weight) and breathtakingly gorgeous both on and _off_ the battlefield. It would be a secret he'd take to his grave at the fact that some nights when he had managed to gain a small bit of sleep, he'd bolt up panting at the latest dream of her teal hair swaying in the midst of fire and smoke, matching eyes glimmering with something primal and a hint of survival swimming in them as a predatory look coated her face with a smirk to show it. His mind wasn't one to skimp or half ass details.

All too well did he have memorized her stance with her sword in hand, flames dancing around the blade and her skin. That faint dimple that only appeared on her right cheek was prominent and laid just underneath of some blood and dirt that sporadically covered her exposed skin. Her toned and exposed midriff revealed her panting but the way her body leaned forwards showed the adrenaline kicking in.

He remembered the day the image engraved itself in his mind and haunted his dreams.

~*~

Having been one of her most promising students and soldiers, she placed him and the Boar to cover her front while Sylvain and Ashe were at her back.

Felix had just cut down a bandit headed her way when he looked up -a good 70 yards from anyone headed his way for the time and close to the end of battle-, his breathing was harsh and he wiped the blood from his face when he searched for her to ensure her safety and to watch her fight as he caught his strength and energy once more like he had been taught by her to do for efficiency in fighting.

His breath caught the moment she turned around from a spin move she perfected with grace, seeing the flash of her crest disappear when the man fell, a burned hole in his chest from front to back. He was aware he should be horrified as the smirk slowly tugged on her lip as she stared at the ground. He was smart enough to know it was a battle and death always came with it so he had no reason to be as distracted as he was.

Maybe it was then he realized he was fucked and wouldn't be able to look at her the same way again; not when his heart hammered in his chest and he felt his cheeks grow hot as he raced to commit every detail of her to memory. He startled when she caught his gaze and that damn dimple appeared for the first time ever. He had known she was attractive when she was first introduced to them by Dimitri, and sometimes stared at her longer during lectures and class than intended like the rest of the boys.

But he had finally seen someone worthy of every word meant to describe a woman. One specific word really. A breath escaped his lips as she started walking towards him and time slowed drastically. The way she killed with the strength of a group of men mercenaries but did it with such elegance and grace. The way her stern features put even her father in place when he was being too rough with someone but managed to walk femininely like she didn't just lay around twenty men to rest.

He felt his mouth stutter "beautiful" as smoke shielded his vision of her briefly when she couldn't see him, and then she was there. Her lips parted in a rare toothy smile, pulling more so on the left side as he saw the cutely sharp canine and premolars that followed that just so happened to be more pointed than rounded discreetly.

She came up, examining him from a distance, before grabbing into the pouch of Sylvain's horse he hadn't realized was close behind her with the owner scouting on top. She withdrew a sword and took Felix's to place it back in the pouch to be reforged later on. A new blade was placed in his hands as he stared down dumbly with his mouth open a fraction.

"I'd like to see the glow of your crest bounce off this when you get the chance, stay safe." She flashed her smile again and his eyes quickly searched for the dimple, then the cute and subtly pointed teeth before seeing the glimmer in her eyes that he sucked in a breath for.

_Why do I feel elated over someone's smile?_

"Sure," he muttered in his usual tone, unable to do anything else. He almost stumbled back when she passed him, patting his chest as she went with a quirk of her lip and flipping her hair from her face.

' _Beautiful_ ', crossed his mind a few more times later that day.

~*~

His hand gently cupped her cheek as she laid sleeping besides him, ears burning when she further nuzzled the opposite cheek into his hand that pillowed her head, listening to her briefly hum in contentment as his thumb stroked over her cheekbone to her nose. He felt her two small hands tighten briefly as they held the back of his hand underneath her head, leaving his opened palm free for her to snuggle into like she hadn't just killed demonic beasts not even two weeks ago.

He twirled a lock of her hair in silence as another memory washed over him that further led to his bond with her.

~*~

He had managed to catch her during her morning routine of greeting each faculty member and student, not paying mind to her appearance as he stared in annoyance at the letter in hand discussing his father's desire to see just how abled and worthy Byleth was to be his teacher when Felix already preached enough about her to assure him of her position.

He was stunned when replied with an easy and happy, "Sure."

He finally looked up, confusion replacing the scowl he once had. "Really? Isn't this a hassle for you? You really don't have to take part in my father's requests." He noted her appearance when he finally tore his gaze away from hers. Her neck piece was absent and her armor rested in her hands as her cloak laid lazily above her shoulders. Her hair was in a pony tail and sweat glimmered across his skin.

He thought she might hear the sound of his jaw clenching tightly.

She gave an amused look in response, "Bandits and those who violently oppose the church are a hassle. You and your father? Not a chance." She was now wrapping white tape around her hands, "If he wishes to know just how capable I am, I'm more than happy to satisfy his curiosity and assure him you're in great hands. What's so bad about that?"

He blinked.

"Ok, I'll send word then. We leave as the time he requested?"

"Sure thing, just inform the knights in my battalion before the evening and I'll tell the students tomorrow."

"Alright," he scanned her up and down once more to figure what she just came from. "Were you just practicing?"

"I was as a matter of fact, why?"

He shrugged, leaning back against the wall as he watched her wipe her chest piece down. "Nothing, I just noticed that you typically train later."

She glanced back at him, "Observant as always, Fraldarius." She sat on the edge of the table of the knight's hall, her feet dangling as Felix let loose a twitch of his lip at the sight of her petite frame indulging itself for childish acts. "I do practice later, but I started to train twice a day when I don't have to do a lecture. My break time usually consists of greeting you guys now but the rest I've been avoiding after that food fight in the dining hall last night," she waved off.

He nodded, seemingly pissed as well for the inconvenience and leaving after he helped her,Dimitri, Mercedes, and Ashe restrain the few students who started it. He was fortunate enough that his class was busy cramming for their qualification exams to change their class and positions on the field, meaning the Blue Lions weren't the cause or in trouble as much as the Golden Deer were. If anything, her cutting corners on her schedule was just punishment for the students who worshipped the ground she walked on.

Surprisingly, Claude had been sick in bed then and had nothing to do with it.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be taking you free time." He cut back in his usual tone.

She looked up, "Oh, no you're a blessing in disguise, Felix. I'd rather you keep me busy than me hustling around to say hello to people. It's exhausting, being a professor."

His skin burned at the compliment she unknowingly dropped on him.

"You know, I was planning to practice brawling some more but since you're here, would you like to spar with me later? I have some battlefield techniques I'd like to try out with you."

And he felt his heart start to beat wildly again.

"Sure, I've got the time."

~*~

Swords clang together, sand drifted in the air around them, and their chests laid close to being in physical proximity behind their blades. They both breathed heavily and short, faces and skin flushed with sweat creating a visible sheen.

Felix was beyond the point of exhaustion, left in his pants and white button up, somewhere was the school jacket discarded among the wooden makeshift bleachers where students watched the physical lessons. He was exhausted and tired, but the adrenaline rushed through him as he quickly stepped back and swirled around to her back, teeth baring when she caught on to his maneuvers better than any opponent had and made a lunge for him after ducking his blow.

He felt exhilarated, pleased and elated with how the professor countered his moves. A smile tried making way onto his moody features, the threatening teeth expression he once had now twitching at the corners as he forced it down. He pressed forth, intent to disarm her when he heard her let a girlish, quick huff of laugh out he never thought could come from her.

_It sounds so light and carefree_.

His gaze left their swords and met her expression; hungry for success and unrelenting. Her crooked and bare smirk showed her teeth he found far more cuter than he should. He faltered when she puffed her cheeks, his own turning a deep shade of red as she pressed her light weight further into his leaning form. Her head titled back as another laugh -was that a damn giggle? Fuck. - escaped her, his teeth unclenched as his mouth opened in surprise and blinked, faltering and sending them both backwards into the sand.

Her laugh rang clear in the air as he ditched the sword, grabbing her waist in a fast reflex to save her from their fall when his body gave way. Their fall took them several feet back from her force.

He coughed several times as the sand cloud cleared around them, hiding his shock in another cough when he realized she was above him with her hands bracketing on either side of his head and her hair creating a curtain around their faces that were inches from one another.

She was still laughing in her secret feminine way only he seemed to know of, mint green tea filling his nose in their shared air as she pushed off the ground. A hand laid over her chest as she continued her giggle fit, the other unknowingly resting on his chest to stabilize herself. He felt his heart leap into his throat, realizing his hand fully rested on her thigh which straddled him.

He quickly yanked his palm back before he caved in and traced the laced tights she wore. His chest was rising rapidly in panic, skin burning in emotions he couldn't name.

_Does he push her off? Does he hold her? Take advantage of the distraction and make a grab for the nearest sword?_ He couldn't believe he was overthinking this. He sparred with people all the time and whenever something similar happened, he'd quickly turn and notch a win.

_Fuck, they had even sparred several times together so why was this time different?_

His hand went to search blindly for the sword as he stared up at her, a giggling mess on top of him. He touched the cool metal blade when her fingertips drew into her hand, scratching his chest when her nails made contact and sending a shiver through him. _Fuck, ignore it_. He needed to win this.

_Or, he could just watch her?_

It's her win regardless, getting her now would just be cheating. Unethical. Unfair.

His arms rested by her legs that caged his hips, eyes watching her intently to sedate the gnawing curiosity that had been getting to him lately.

_Fuck, fucking beautiful_.

He wanted to touch her, sit up and bring her closer, press her hand further to his chest and taste the remnants of tea on her lips.

_Her really pink, soft looking lips_.

He blinked out of his awed daze when her hand covered her mouth and shielded those teeth -adorable and slightly pointed cute teeth- from his view. He gave himself a few extra seconds to reel back his personality and gain strength to talk.

"Seems you've won again," he started, sitting up with his hands supporting him from behind. He ignored how the close proximity was trying to chip away his stoic manners. Her eyes opened, tears of amusement making the dark color shine brilliantly he felt his next words catch in his throat.

"Seems so," she cleared her throat, feigning her usual blank expression that he was most certainly aware of now was a mask to ignore people. "Sorry, let me help you up."

He felt confused when disappointment hit him when she detached herself. Shoving it down and grabbing the outstretched hand above him.

_Shit, when did he accept simple and helpful gestures such as that?_

He should knocked her hand away or held his own up in response and got to his feet without effort.

He gritted his teeth out of frustration, the overwhelming feelings and thoughts getting to him before he could make sense of it.

All I need is my sword. I don't have time for such mundane things.

He dusted himself off, looking back down at her. "You were laughing." He stated dryly.

"Yes, I apologize."

"At me?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what?"

Her eyes flashed with something devious and that damn smirk pulled at her lips before her features returned to their place. "I'll tell you someday."

She patted his chest and showed a smile before walking out and leaving him staring after her with a mixture of feelings.

_Well fuck._

~*~

He watched in fascination as the strands of her hair shimmered in the sunlight that leaked through the windows, still twirling it around his finger and feeling the softness of it.

It felt, it felt _amazing_ to let his walls down and explore the confusion he kept getting so angry at. He knew he should leave since everyone would wake up in about two hours but he didn't want to leave her yet. Not when she was sleeping and so close to him.

She stirred in his arms, the motion causing a bittersweet sensation in him as he watched her. Her small frame twisted around to her back, tilting carefully to her left as she blinked blearily up at him, pink lips parted and a breath lost as blue-green eyes peered at him in confusion beneath full, black lashes. Somewhere was his ability to move, breathe, speak. The light hit her eyes and reflected back at him brighter than the sun hitting a clean blade. Felix was mutely aware how close his face had been before she woke, now it pounded in his throat and images of her flashed through his head that made his chest tighten painfully. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, face engulfed in heat, hand flexing on her hip and the other squeezing her entangled one.

And his eyes, like burnt copper and blood mixed together, pierced into her and Byleth felt her breathing fasten. Her pulse and flow of blood thrumming in her ears as she searched for any signs of the Felix he presented to everyone on the daily.

_And he was so close._

From where his bare chest pressed to her side and her own burned through the silk nightgown. She felt warm, close to hot and overheated and it was the first damn time she ever felt that in this goddess forsaken icy hell- even the summer had a chill to them and she was close to running into flames to sedate herself.

She wanted him closer, wanted to burn until she couldn’t take it and drown in the comforting darkness he had to offer that was far safer than anything else.

_Fuck_ , she wanted to kiss him.

She missed being immune to emotions, void of them even. The most she ever did was give a short laugh to her dad’s jokes and his forgetful mind trying to offer her a beer at the age of twelve.

_Right, dad._

She wanted that immunity, she wanted it now and forever. Felix was the one who damaged her gate that held them at bay: he did unknowingly and unintentionally and beautifully. But she needed to lock it away, part of what she could to pretend the massive and overwhelming pain wasn’t suffocating and killing her.

_It hurt too much._

It hurt her beyond words and expression, to the point of living and she was planning to walk away from it.

_Or walk off from it._

Jeralt was the only thing to occupy her mind for such a long time, Sothis was gracious enough to keep her watch from afar, always filled with concern and love for the former mercenary.

She could still hear Sothis’ screams in the dead of night when she stepped off the ledge of the bridge before Felix caught her. She could still hear the crying that sounded like a sad, solo symphony from watching Byleth let herself come to ruins.

Felix never heard it last night, but Sothis prayed for his soul to never hurt again and blessed him for his kind heart that laid in complete agony.

Now Sothis was floating somewhere far off, maybe in the depths of Byleth’s soul or in her head.

Felix was, he was therapeutic and a chance to breathe clean air.

_Felix is Felix._

He’s a sadistic piece of shit who Sylvain claims is the most “edgiest” person to be. He had a reputation for his incredibly short patience and temper, he was well mannered but never displayed it to his classmates and he was bit as hard has he wielded a sword. He wasn’t capable of feelings or empathy, not even remorse.

But Byleth could feel a tether form between the two of them the moment they met and eyes locked. It was an indescribable feelings that the moment his blunt self-introduction was over, she gave a nod and walked away as quickly as she could.

He was attractive and handsome, sharply so. Several of the boys and men were at the monastery and granted, some of them were considered to probably be more attractive compared to Felix, but there was something about him that made sense and confused her all the same. She could hardly believe he was considered the most unapproachable of the group.

Especially now...as his fingers traced under her bottom lip and he stared at her with concern. What she wouldn’t give to feel how crazy her heart should be beating and what it would feel like.

Byleth’s lips formed a pout she couldn’t control as her arms slid around his shoulders and connected behind his neck, bringing him down with her and hugging him close. It felt like the flames of Hell when his arms wrapped just as tightly around her smaller body, and she shivered at the heat he could soothe her with.

He rolled their bodies until he was on his back, arms holding her protectively as she willed tears to stay within the lashes they escaped from.

“I should leave before the others rise,” his hand skidded up her back, lips pressed into her hairline. “Please, forgive me.”

“Of course.”

A soft kiss touched her head as he rolled her onto her own back, lips making contact with her open palm that he held carefully with two hands. He brushed a few strands of her away from her face before showing a lip twitch and turning to put his uniform shirt and jacket on, along with his shoes.

“Felix,” he tilted his head to meet her gaze, “Thank you. For last night. For everything.”

He let out a huff of air, “That’s typically a line most often heard from Sylvain’s room beyond the walls and door that don’t silence his antics. If you wanted to use it, I would’ve suggested having him over instead.”

He was teasing, he was capable of it and good at it, but she still felt as though it was a slip of insecurity despite his humor.

She frowned, “I didn’t need Sylvain last night, I had needed you, Felix.”

_If that didn’t throw him through a damn loop, he didn’t know what would._

“Felix,” she sat up to her knees and moved to the edge of the bed. She held out a small hand to him as he finished the last button, turning and placing his much larger one in hers when he just knew he would’ve slapped anyone else’s away. The indigo haired boy even went as far as interlacing their fingers, tracing the back of her own hand with his free one to feel the softness the armor protected.

“ _Byleth_ ,” he said with as much seriousness as she did, albeit feigned. A small smirk tugged his lips when her cheeks flushed a pretty pink.

Her skin was comforting, her warmth despite always being cold herself, her touch, her. It was too much and not enough. He felt his head swirling from a fight inside his head, as if the once cheerful and caring part of him he locked away after Glenn died was breaking chains one by one each passing moment.

Her eyes saddened, like she was able to read a synopsis of him that alluded to his current thoughts. His jaw clenched at her expression and she brought him in for another embrace he couldn’t feel an objection to.

Holding her like this, it felt like a missing piece and that terrified him immensely. It wasn’t like he could pull away either, not when that damn belonging sensation filled him.

“Felix, you are exactly the person, thing, I needed. You helped me tremendously even before last night and if there is anyone I trust in this monastery now that my father has passed, it’s you.” She felt the hands flex on his hips but didn’t say anything, pulling back and staring up at his hair instead, she played with the loose tendrils that escaped the tied hair. She refused to look in his eyes so he couldn’t see what she was feelings, so he wouldn’t feel overwhelmed with her words, et cetera and et cetera.

“I, ...Byleth,” he tried.

She gave a sad smile, guiding him to lean downwards an inch and press a kiss to his forehead before she settled back down on the bed. His hand played with her fingers momentarily, staring at her.

“You’re one of my favorites, you know?” She gave him that side toothy grin he adored all too much and he smiled back.

“You’re one of my favorites too, Byleth.”

~*~

She didn’t show up that day, and Felix _missed_ her more than he cared to admit that night as well. He had been unable to sleep and he desperately wished it didn’t have to do with the fact that it was because she wasn’t in bed with him.

He sat in his desk, staring painfully at the wooden surface and books that laid before him. A familiar migraine presented itself yet again, leaving him irritable as always and hearing Seteth’s voice yelling at Sylvain and Caspar again for today’s lessons would send him on a murder spree. Had he been an imbecile, he would’ve blessed the goddess above for the silence that fell over the room as shoes clicked against stone.

But it was Felix, he was as sharp as a good blade.

He turned his head a fraction just in time to see Byleth walking in and passing him to her desk in front.

Face, pretty and blank as ever looked at the roster and then the room, checking names.

If no one was at the battle that day, they wouldn’t be able to tell she had just lost her father recently. She carried the lesson through and through, even when discussing a technique Jeralt used in close combat.

Felix could see the pain she carried though.

He could also see the vexed expression on the boar’s face and Sylvain contemplating on taking her back to her dorm or not to rest.

In all honesty, it would make most sense for Sylvain and Byleth to be together since their closeness in age and despite all, Sylvain was mature if one was to set aside girls for the matter.

Sobbing in the back of the classroom escalated and made his migraine pang violently against his right eye. _Now who the hell..._

Byleth stilled, “Who is crying.” How she managed to make that sound like a displeased statement instead of a question, the class may never know.

Byleth however, already knew. It was the same person Hilda had expressed more compassion for when she managed to drag herself out of bed. It was the talk of the rest of the school day when Claude came down on Hilda hard for being so insecure and harsh when Byleth’s father had just died, and to tell her she seemed fine and Hilda was _more worried about Leonie._

Not to mention when he and Mercedes were walking to the greenhouse together for their daily chore and overheard Leonie weeping to Byleth like she had been the child of him instead of her.

If asked, Felix would admit from the bottom of his heart:

He thought she was bitch and insignificant.

It seemed the whole class was not fond of her to an extent as well. All trying to avoid the drama she brought forth.

Dimitri, ever the prince, tried to intervene. “Leonie, how about we calm down a-,”.

“Shut up! You don’t understand!” She screamed back.

_Shut up._

Byleth still faced down at her notes, fingers playing with the edge of a book cover. “Leonie, please refrain yourself from disrupting my class.”

“Oh, that’s _rich_ coming from you, Professor!”

Her head tilted, gears in her head turning to predict the outcome of this situation. _How well was Felix beginning to read her? How well did he know.._

“Excuse me?”

_Oh, right. Fight ensuing._

He felt he should take part in stopping the fight, mainly for Byleth’s sake since she we still hurting. But really, he just wanted to see “the bitch get laid out” as Sylvain would say, wanting revenge for using his training sword one day without permission and breaking it.

“I’m just saying. Something crossed my mind, something I wanted to ask for awhile now.”

“And that is?”

_There’s no way she is that childish or dumb to start-_

“Are you really Captain Jeralt’s kid?”

_Feel free to kill her, Byleth._

Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, choosing her words carefully, “That’s what I’m told.”

“That's a pretty detached tone to take about your own family.” Leonie bit back.

“That’s just my tone in general.” Felix nearly missed the cute quirk her dark eyebrow did in retaliation.

Leonie huffed angrily, “Sure, fine whatever then. Let me ask this, what’s your opinion of him, then? You must look up to him, at least?” The end of the sentence seemed too contradicting to be genuine or even remotely out of pure curiosity.

Byleth crossed her arms, “I respect him, of course.”

_Present tense, she still holds him in high regards even after passing._

This seemed to push at her more than it should, “Hm. It doesn't sound like you really appreciate him. You didn't even know until you came here that he used to lead the Knights of Seiros, did you? If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be half the person you are now. You've probably never even thought about how lucky you are.”

The whole class was on edge and trying to silence her.

“Hey, stop.” Ashe tried, turning back to look at her.

“Leonie, seriously knock it off, that’s enough.” Ingrid said beside her.

“Ugh! OK, this really bothers me! Listen up. I don't care if you're the teacher and I'm the student. I'm going to outshine you. I know you were some famous mercenary before you came here, but let me tell you something... I'm going to be better than you ever were! In fact, I'll surpass you in no time at all, so don't blink. You might miss it.”

Byleth blinked.

Felix snickered. _That was cute._

She didn’t offer her the curtesy of responding, not giving her the time of day. Earning immense respect from the pitying students and concerning Felix further knowing who she was behind closed doors.

“Really? Nothing to say?”

“What did you want me to say? I was taking my time to see if I missed it. Didn’t find anything.”

“Listen here-,” Leonie stood from her desk, hands pressing against wood.

Byleth took a glance at Felix, feeling his impatience rubbing off on her and sending a subtle smirk his way that the rest of the class missed.

“Maybe you should be more concerned with something other than me?”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Perhaps your grades? The most pressing would ironically be your grade in sword fight and techniques?”

“Where the hell do you get off, _Byleth_?” There was venom in her voice.

“That’s _Professor_ to you, and I’m just merely mentioning it to inform you that you’re currently at a D+. Whatever you’ve been doing since then has clearly reflected poorly and no, this isn’t biased or out of judgement.”

“It clearly is!” She shrieked, flames engulfing her cheeks and matching her horrible hair.

_What was Sylvain’s phrase again? ‘Just lay the bitch out’?_

“It’s not. I’d tell you to ask my father who happened to sit in on that one week - _per your insistent and pestering requests that had him drinking rum in my classroom_ \- and he had been disappointed, seemingly expecting you to at least live up to half the hype you created yourself.”

“I _knew_ I smelled alcohol then.” Sylvain murmured to himself.

“You’re lying!”

_‘Lay. The. Bitch. Out.’. Huh, has a nice ring to it._

“I’m not. He spent that following weekend training with you in hopes that the blame didn’t fall to him. He traced the issue back to you.”

She was marching up towards the desk and both Dimitri, Sylvain, and Felix jumped to action, a standing protectively in front of Byleth.

Dimitri tried reasoning with her again, “Come on, Leonie, this isn’t necessary.”

“Back off, prince of the naive. I need to take care of this bitch.”

Felix growled, surprising some in the class. “The only bitch here, is you. I’d suggest you step off before we really see what a D+ swordsman looks like against an A+graded swordsman with a A in dark magic.” His hand was ready to draw his sword.

“Holy shit, you’re that good?” Sylvain cocked his head in interest, earning a glare from a few for his distraction.

Leonie struggled against the boys, growing more aggravated by the second. “I was doing just fine, had high grades every semester.”

“Our teacher last year was more incapable than Manuela after a drinking binge.” Ashe remarked.

“But then _you_ come along... And it's like you don't appreciate Captain Jeralt at all, or how lucky you were to have him around your whole life! Ugh! It still really bothers me! You might be his kid, but I'm still his best apprentice! Got it?!”

“Are you done?”

“Am I done? Really? That’s what you’re going to say?”

“If I contradict you anymore, you might just burst.”

“Go ahead, bitch.”

Teeth bared from Felix, a low growl emitting from his chest again. “Call her a bitch _one more time, Pinelli.”_

Dimitri tried holding her back, “Leonie, please settle yourself. This isn’t proper.”

“I said go ahead!”

“He told me every so often I had been his best apprentice up until I won him in a duel. He said from then on, I would forever be his best apprentice and his best equal.”

Leonie faltered.

Byleth walked by, stoic and expressionless but anger and something feral swelled in her eyes that greatly worried Felix.

She stopped short, near where the red head and the boys were holding her. “I don’t take kindly to those who try to insistently _bed my father,_ Leonie.” She glanced, shocked. “Yes, I’m well aware. I caught you slipping alcohol into his food on several occasions and catching him as he stumbled out of rooms sick, grabbing onto me as he whispered your intentions and to escort him away before you found him again.”

Dimitri let go of her like she burned him, Sylvain stepped back, judgement passing his eyes knowing he would never even go that far.

And Felix drew his sword.

Byleth’s hand settled on his, guiding it back to his belt. “Settle, I think she learned her lesson.” She looked fully at all the boys who heard the most secret confession that they could imagine. “That was never intended to lay upon your ears, but keep it to yourselves. As much as she acts a monster, she’s human.” Byleth walked away, not so even much as a glance in the persistent girl’s direction. “Oh, and boys?”

They turned their attention to her.

Her dazzling smile and that damn dimple made full appearance, even if it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yeah?” Sylvain called out.

“Take her to Lady Rhea and Seteth, see to it that she is transferred out of my class and dealt with. That is all, class is dismissed.” And she disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined the C and B support for Leonie to make for a better fight and I honest to god hate her, there’s nothing really redeeming about her especially after your dad dies and she makes it about herself.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao 2020 ain’t a great year. 
> 
> I’m still alive and I apologize for the long hiatus. I work ahead of myself and have future chapters already drawn up...it’s just....the slow burn....I gotta write....it’s slow..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also again, Byleth is shorter in this because she is too...perfect? ig in the game and I feel like she would gain some delicate attributes her mother had that would be deemed as flaws but prove to her advantage. So ig it can be marked as a Short!Byleth fic

"Hey, Fe?" He growls at the childish nickname and the persistent stares, choosing to ignore the two instead by pouring over his notes from class in preparation for the next lecture within the next few minutes.

His avoidance doesn't go unnoticed as Ingrid lets out a huff, setting her not-so-secret chocolate aside and swatting his notebook back down to the library table with an audible slap of contact. His face twists in anger, far too easy for someone his age to get so quickly, lips turning into a snarl.

"What the hell, Ingrid?"

" _You what the hell_ , we've been trying to talk to you for the past hour."

"Yes and that's such a rare occurrence that warrants blatant abuse and disregard towards my personal property." He picks his notes back up, hastily finding the last page he left off on while eyeing the clock and pointedly ignoring Sylvain who peers over his shoulder besides him, trying to catch a glimpse of the notes. He does, however, tilt it the slightest fraction for him to see as he shifts in his seat.

He's essentially doing his part in this friendship they both insist on having with him. If the bare minimum requires his lax friend secretly trying to study -for the protection of his reputation and appearance despite caring a great deal about his grades and education now- then so be it.

"Look, I'm just concerned by the bandaid covering your cheek." Sylvain poked the white patch lightly as Felix shot a side glare. "What happened?"

Felix shifted some, "I was training and broke another training sword, the splintered pieces cut my face." He was too good of a liar and he hated himself for it at times.

He felt the inner turmoil of having yet another issue he had to keep a secret. It wasn't an option to flat out say, 'Remember our favorite professor who just recently lost her father? I caught her about to jump to her death, saved her, she freaked out and clawed my face, but it's okay because we have this weird connection and slept together and it was the most sleep I've gotten all week.'

"Again? Least it wasn't your hand this time, I'm glad I don't have to hear you bitch and moan while writing an essay again."

"I bitched and moaned because you made me write your essay as well."

Sylvain feigned offense, "Excuse me, but you wanted that new sword didn't you?"

"Yes."

"And did I not, give it to you?"

"Whatever." He stood up, grabbing his notes and books before stalking out of the library with a scowl on his face. His migraine seemed to worsen after the interaction, the total of five hours of sleep he had gotten these past few days taking a toll on him as he kept up the front. He was still on guard, especially when Ashe happened by the corner in a rush.

"Felix!"

He stopped abruptly before Ashe could make contact with him, "What is it?"

Ashe breathed harshly as if he had been running, supporting himself by the wall as he managed words out. "Professor switched class to the training grounds today, bring athletic wear and notebook." Felix only supplied him with a curt nod and he gave an easy smile back, huffing for breath in between their silence before waving a two finger salute and patting Felix's shoulder once as a friendly gesture, bounding off towards the library.

~*~

The class waited along the makeshift bleachers, chatting idly as they let the professor take her time.

Sylvain and Ingrid sat a riser above him, chatting to Dedue and Dimitri that happened to be nearby. Ashe and Caspar sat to his left in an active conversation and Mercedes and Annette sat two below him discussing chores.

And Felix was taking a cat nap after being inspired by Lindhart.

_Trying to at least._

His arms were crossed and his head hung low, bangs swaying from the movement of others.

He would kill for ten minutes of sleep.

The sound of heels clicked and once again, everyone fell into a silence. They watched as Byleth and Shamir strode in, talking to themselves as guards stood their place outside the training grounds's doors.

The women chatted for a bit in the center, standing within the center as the students watched before Byleth grabbed for a notebook she left previously beforehand and faced the students.

"I apologize if I have troubled any of you with the change in plans; lately my thoughts have laid me to sleepless nights where I concern myself over our state of safety and proficiency in battles. I don't have time to waste teaching you the same topics over again and again by lecture. I've already cleared it with Lady Rhea, and I'm keeping what happens here confidential from everyone outside, take notice of the guards." She looked towards Shamir. "You may take them now."

"As you wish. I need Ingrid, Annette, Mercedes, and eventually I'll need you as well Ashe. Stay here for now." Felix caught the confused glances of everyone, feeling slightly relieved he wasn't the only one lost as well. Shamir led them out, saying they would take their separate lesson to the knight's hall.

That left Felix, Sylvain, Dimitri, Dedue, Caspar and Ashe alone with Byleth.

No one was sure Lindhart counted if the boy was that deep in sleep.

"Can I have you boys come line up facing me please?" They did as they were told, waiting for further instructions. The napping moss colored haired boy sitting up and rubbing his eyes before the Professor held her hand up and said he wouldn't need to.

Felix was sure he wasn't the only one to take notice in the lack of armor -besides that one knee plate- and tights, watching as she threw her cloak to the bleachers and threw her hair up into a messy ponytail.

The boar raised his hand, "What's the meaning of this, Professor?"

"I'll answer your question with one of my own. You'll get it eventually." She placed her hands behind her back and cocked her hip. "Boys, how would you describe my height?"

"Short."

"Petite."

"Cute."

"Small."

"Concerning."

"Short."

"It concerns me you all had that at the ready," she frowns. She quickly shook her head, a small smile making way.

_It's been awhile since she's done that._

"Regardless, I think we could use it to our advantage." Byleth then pulled off her boots, leaving her in long black socks and a few inches shorter.

Messy ponytail, long socks, lack of armor and tights left her in her black shorts and top. Felix was sure he wasn't the only one feeling hot in the cold, marbled room.

"Damn, where did that five foot go, Professor?"

"I apologize for lying about my height this entire time, Mr. Gautier." She deadpanned, a hand against her chest and blank face greeted him. "No, I'm not even sure I reach that as well and I very well might be below it, but this could help us."

"Help us how?" Felix replied.

 _Goddess,_ how he cherished her height too.

Sometimes it seemed to be one of the most apparent factors that she wasn't this flawless being who enemies quaked in the sight of. It carried childish mannerisms that were hard to tamper down from people like her while acting mature. It fooled opposing forces into going easy on her or thinking they were set to win. It was so fortunate that she differed from her looks.

He stomped those thoughts down fast -ones that seemed to addle his late teenage mind- as he watched her approach Dedue first, "Just getting to that, Fradarlius." She looked to the rest of them, "I apologize if this makes any of you uncomfortable, but I need to see if some ideas I have could be plausible."

She stood still, relaxing her posture a second while closing her eyes. Murderous intent replaced them when teal flashed back open, body going protective and distantly rigid, ready to attack.

Felix's own body followed suit in a lesser form by reflex, Dedue's eyes widening a fraction as Dimitri's confusion became apparent on his face behind a bewildered smile.

"You alright, Professor?" Ashe teased lightly, a sliver of envy flowing through most boys at how friendly the two are. Ashe was her closest friend from what Felix could tell, they were often seen spending free time together as they walked around the monastery grounds.

She smirked in a deadly way, "Always. Dedue, lift me."

He startled, the man of a few words and minimal interactions with the opposing sex. "Excuse me?"

"Lift me, it's fine by me and I need to test something."

He chanced a glance to Dimitir who in turn, offered a wary smile and nodded to the ministrations. Large hands tentatively gripped around her waistline before lifting her with ease that she quickly met his eye level.

She blinked, "I knew it would be an easy task for you, but I hadn't expected the speed you would manage as well."

The sight was in no doubt, amusing to them all.

A big brute that surpassed all their heights and built proportions of their body, suddenly stunned with pink cheeks and staring directly into the eyes of a natural born mercenary who only reached the bottom half of his rib cage while standing.

He set her down, stepping away and bowing his head with his hands to his side like he was awaiting punishment. She merely touched to hand.

"Go sit on the far end of the seats?" She shifted her attention to Dimitri, "You want to be treated like a student and warrior in battle, let's see it."

The prince only let out a chuckle, eyeing her curiously before gripping her waist politely and lifting her with a same level of ease -albeit not as much as Dedue had. She took in the height and noticeable lack of strain in his arms, before her hands tapped at his shoulders and he set her down with hands clasped behind his back.

"How'd I do, Professor?"

Byleth hummed, not meeting his eyes as she seemed to play out a scenario in mind. Had she looked up, she would've seen the pink tint to his cheeks and the suppression of a school boy smile.

Maybe Felix rolling his eyes and gripping his arms where they were crossed in a manner what wasn't annoyed as it originally should've been, but something else. Something he refused to identify and consider.

"Fine, you did fine. Sit next to Dedue please."

She spun on one sock heal to Caspar who was smiling with a ready look, already grabbing at her waist and hauling her over his shoulder as she let out a very un-Byleth like sound.

"Woah, Cas, take a lady to dinner first." Sylvain let out with a low whistle, hands behind his head and noting the way Felix's eyes narrowed for a second.

"Alright, put me down." She spoke impassively, rolling her fist into her waist. "You're stronger than you look, I'll give you credit for that. Go sit in the middle of the seats."

"Beat that, Ashe!" The robin egg haired child chanted.

Ashe and Byleth faced one another. His features settling when she offered an encouraging smile and gently held her arms out as his arms moved around her waist.

Ashe wasn't weak, but he wasn't terribly strong either. Byleth didn't look like she had all that much to her -considering she burned off whatever she ate in her training daily- but it was clear he wouldn't be able to hold her forever. His arms showed the tension Dimitri lacked. He carefully set her down and smiled down at her.

"Sorry, I only lift books and sacks of ingredients." He joked lightly, taking pleasure in the way she laughed back and stepped out of his way for the bench.

"It's okay, I already have a goal in mind for you. Go sit on the second bleacher." She watched him walk away with a fond look that Felix wasn't sure what to make of, before standing in front of the flirtatious boy.

 _One year her junior,_ Felix thought bitterly, absently.

His hands were still behind his head with a carefree smile as he dimpled down at her with warm brown eyes. "Afternoon, Professor. What can I do you for?"

There was a strained smile being tampered down behind her blank stare, one of amusement and teasing. Their relationship had been getting along better even before her father passed, and it had to have been because he was the only one her age and somewhat mature -if one was to exclude his nightly activities and ways about handling them- who could relate to her in some form.

His smirk grew when he saw the humor in her eyes before she huffed, looking away and holding her arms out in the same gesture.

"Ah, normally I just sweep the girls off their feet without being asked, but I'm open to change." He winked, earning a grunt of disapproval from the Professor. He bent down slightly and managed to bring her in close, arm tucked behind her thighs and under as she well surpassed his head but was now almost sitting in his hold with hands pressed to his firm chest in surprise. "Fancy seeing you here, Professor." He grinned.

"Mr. Gautier..."

"Get it? Because you're short and can't see this far up?"

"Sylvain," she tried again, eyes widening when he took a free hand of hers and put it against his chest.

"Don't you see what you do to me?"

"Pick me up the correct way, Sylvain."

"Fine fine, give me a second." He playfully whined. He took his hand that held her wrist and dropped it to her hip, quickly letting go from under her thighs in a move that should've dropped her, but instead managed to work as he moved it to her waist and the other joined to meet. He held her up to him and went to say a mouthy remark that was sure to land him an ass kicking, until he caught the certain reflection of the sun that had been bouncing off her face that had transfixed Felix lately whenever light leaked through the cloud. His eyes softened significant and his lips parted, features that were guarded going slack as he looked at her.

_Annoyance. It has to be annoyance._

"Sylvain, you can put me down now."

He did a slow blink, clearing his throat and looking away for a moment before he came back with his all too familiar dazzling smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he put her back down.

"Where to?"

"By Dimitri, please."

Felix had been eyeing him skeptically before he saw her in front of him. The last one to partake in her weird experiment.

He could also feel himself going soft and affectionate for her before he reminded himself of who he was and where they were, who she was. He swallowed down the words he almost said allowed, most of them.

"Will you tell me what this game is of yours?"

"Not unless you do it."

"Is there an objective to it beyond your own curious whims?"

"I'd like to believe so, yes."

"That just so happens to involve all your male students." He pointed out.

"Maybe I'm a girl who needs to stifle an insecurity or two, you never know."

He almost smiled at the light jab she gave herself, almost.

"Fine." It lacked its usual bite, but still served its purpose.

He bent slightly, already knowing her weight from when he found her on the bridge, already seeing her small and lithe in that thigh high silk nightie. So he knew how her weight laid out and the best place for graspable purchase.

He grabbed her waist, feeling the middle juncture of her before he slid his hands up, startling a gasp from her, and settling the top of his hands where her second rib started. He knew to avoid pressure at the bones and lifted, a more solid hold on her than the others had that relied on strength alone and discounted her body form that could shift and squeeze under pressure.

"That's the first time I've ever seen Felix hold a girl," Sylvain lightly remarked, earning laughs from Caspar and Dimitri.

Felix shifted her in his hands and subconsciously brought her closer to his body to look over her shoulder and glare.

"I'm the one who carried her after a battle, dumbass." Making it a point to not mention which as they all avoided.

His eyebrow quirked, "Oh, so she's the only girl you've held."

He flushed at that, also realizing how close she was to him as he set her down and took a step back.

"Sorry," he mumbled low enough for her and barely readable from his lips.

"It's fine," she dismissed as she considered him for a moment. "Middle of Caspar and Sylvain, please?" Her own last word at the end became quiet and he wanted to shoot a grateful smile had it not been for the boys watching them.

"You totally felt her up," Sylvain teased as soon as he sat besides him. Felix huffed in aggravation.

"I did not."

"Sure sure."

"As I'm sure some of you have heard, Lady Rhea has been on me about caring more for my safety while out on the battlefield."

"What's her obsession with you anyways?" Sylvain leaned back, close to Ashe's legs and talked like they were lax friends.

"Hell if I know. I'm sure wielding the Sword of Creator and fainting on the field in an emotional state doesn't give me any room to veto her lecturing." She came close to rolling her eyes, a stiff smile appearing when the realization dawned on her that it wasn't in her best interest to be so inappropriate and informal with her students. "Regardless, I've been told I need to better protect myself as well as my most vulnerable students."

The boar sat up straighter, "Oh, so this was the point for today's experiment. What did you come to?"

She thought for a second longer before standing in front of them. She looked to Dimitri and Dedue first, "I need you two to cover the back, I typically have my students like Lindhart, Annette, or Mercedes back so they can heal those who stop for a second to catch their breath, or because we typically clear the way for them. But I don't want to rely on chance anymore and can't risk them falling in battle either. I need the both of you to sort of be my heavies and protect them at all costs." She looked to Dedue with a smile, "Discounting your strength, having you close by them won't require you to run so much with all that armor. And I've seen the amount of power you've put behind your axe throwing, it's scary but impressive."

"Imagine if he was a girl," Caspar laughed.

Sylvain snorted, looking over Felix at the boy, "You mean Hilda?" 

Byleth almost shuddered, "She's...unsettling."

The boar politely raised his hand, "Why am I in the back?"

"Oh," she started. "Your connection and teamwork with Dedue is unmatchable with anyone else I would try to pair you with. Given how many of my faith and reason wielder fall per battle, if unable to protect them, I expect you both to hold your own as well as transport them to safety, even if it's more than one body you've been dealt it."

"I'll pretend to be your fair maiden if it helps, your highness." Lindhart yawned, sitting up.

Byleth smirked, "Glad to see you join us."

"Might as well since I need to know our deployment layout plan." One more yawn, "So, in the middle back and in the sights of the heavies? Got it."

"Mhm, Caspar I need you to be in the middle yourself. You range between axe and brawling, we'll get you a belt so you don't have to decide which before battle and can change however you please as long as there's a gap in between enemies. I'm not fond of having a brawler on the field, much less an axe user without armor. You're terribly open as much as those who use faith and reason and I don't like that. So you're covered by wyvern riders and will march alongside Ashe to cover him."

"You don't have to worry about me without armor, I've got-,"

"We're not having this argument again, Caspar." Moments like these seemed to contradict her young age as she held out a hand in silence and squeezed her eyes shut, breathing deeply before looking to the student she openly befriended. "Ashe, I'm going to have Shamir train you and the girls. In case you haven't noticed, besides Annette and Mercedes who are learning better defenses, Ingrid rides and she'll learn how to fly down and swoop you up mid battle if I need to get ahead of the game. Your precision and accuracy with a bow, just like Dedue and Dimitri's teamwork, is unmatched to any I've seen before, besides maybe Claude's. I just need you in the middle for your range and space for long distance shots, and because it's the clearest area for Ingrid to pick you up."

"And now your favorites?" The dark red head tried, smiling brightly and leaning his cheek to a once placated Felix who quickly shoved him off.

"Sure, let's go with that, Sylvain, if it'll get you to listen."

"Oh, Professor, you have my full attention already."

Felix heaved a breath, willing Sothis to render his hands useless as they itched to strangle his friend. "For the love of-, just let her get through this."

"Pushy."

"I need you both in the front with me. Felix and Sylvain, you both go where I go, and you break off when I tell you. And after?"

Felix hummed, leaning on his open palm as he stared up at her. "Naturally we meet back up into a default placement."

"Kiss up," he heard from his side and felt his jaw clench in response.

"Right. With Sylvain's need to show off in front of women, he can stay to my left-, yes on your horse, put your hand down. I'm not taking Lady from you, let me finish." She looked at him pointedly as his hand slid back to his lap. "Sylvain stays on my left, since your constant showy nature seems to bode well for you when you have a girl near you. In case I ever get injured in battle and Felix can't aid me with the faith he's been studying because something came up or there's more pressing issues, I need you there. You have the right amount of strength -clearly- to yank me up mid gallop. I felt the control in your strength and muscles, you know how to hold someone -stop with that smile, this isn't a praise for your endeavors in wooing women- you would know how to fetch me if I were to get hurt and you're a smarter person than you let on. I know if you saw me go down, you've already considered my wounds and how pulling on one limb will affect the rest of me."

Sylvain seemed to settle, possibly from her observations on him and being unable to find a witty remark to derail her unconscious praises.

"Right, okay. I can do that."

"Felix."

"Hm?"

"You stay to my right, always. With our duel combination of both swordsmanship and understanding of either reason or faith, we can be one another's shield. Since you refuse to have a battalion, and frankly do better without, you can slip in and out by my side as much as Sylvain, if not more as long as you know when. My battalion behind me always carries extra weapons and vulnaries." She faltered for a millisecond, barely noticeable to the rest but Felix as she considered him. "I trust your split second battle judgements and calls more than anyone else's." She looked away quickly to address them more. "And besides Dimitri for closer encounters, you both seem protective of me as your professor on the battlefield and I've seen your worth time and time again."

_Yeah, that's the reason we're so protective of you._

"Also, I've seen you multitask, Felix. If Sylvain is the one who is held up when I go down, or goodness forbid down himself, I believe you're one of the few who can cast healing while carrying me."

"I can learn," he replied. Typically if someone managed to get a hit in on Byleth, she was out for only a short while before she was tended to and having to make her way to the front again. Him learning would only prevent that from happening and save the time they tried to buy before their commander was back on the front lines.

"Wait," Lindhart started, "That means he would-,"

"Byleth," Shamir was at the door. "Classes are over. Continue tomorrow?"

"You boys fine with that? It'll mean trial and error to see how Sylvain can manage with picking me up while mid stride, how Felix can run with me in his arms, and Dedue and Dimitri learning the weight of the others." She flashed a sad smile to her friend, "Sorry, Ashe. You'll be learning with Shamir and Ingrid for most lessons."

He shook his head, arms crossed and on his knees. "That's fine, I always wanted to try airborne shooting."

"We'll get along fine kid," Shamir spoke by the door with a smirk.

"Caspar, remember that you're essentially the front man for the magic users and Ashe's on ground bodyguard. He takes out more enemies from afar than I can count."

"Got it, Professor!"

"I'll see you all Monday then, have a nice evening." She bid them their goodbyes as she redressed herself fully before walking out of the room with Shamir falling in step besides her. The rest of the class leaving as Felix moved to grab a training sword and start his ritual practice early.

Just as the sword raised above the training dummy’s head, Lindhart managed to grab his attention from a safe distance.

"Felix."

"What is it," he spared only a glance to him, aware it was unlike Lindhart to speak to him outside of class and that he normally would've sulked off to go bury his head in books at the library or nap where he probably shouldn't. His attention returned to his training, considering the new deployment layout and new tactics he would have to use if he were to be Byleth's right hand man.

"We need to talk," Lindhart watched as he mercilessly went at it with the dummy. "After dinner, before bed. It's about if the professor goes down and you're to tend to her." The sword dropped to his side, his breath barely out from a normal pace due to his adaptibility to his own training. He eyed the moss haired boy intently, searching for an answer beyond his crypticness but came short. "You're training, I know better than to keep you from it for too long. I'll be taking my leave, I'll meet you at your room later."

Felix went to protest, demand that he rather just tell him there, quick and now. Lindhart had already turned and was heading in the opposite direction. "Fine."

~*~

Lindhart had manage to catch Felix in his doorway, near dead of night when everyone else should be asleep -disregarding Sylvain in the next room with a giggling girl who wouldn't stop laughing. A towel over his head and loose cloth slacks at his bottoms that hit to his ankles, he growled at the breech of comfort when his fellow school mate allowed himself in. Lindhart didn't look offended in the slightest, just tired.

"I thought you said after dinner?"

"Right, I did. I just happen to be in the library."

"And I care because?" He snapped, leaning against his desk.

"Because I was studying the underlying risks of a minor faith and reason user. I was researching extensively."

Felix huffed in annoyance, eyes pinching shut and his hands- that were once secured over his head to rub the wet into damp- just formed fists and clenched the towel that now hung around his neck. "Just tell me your damn point.”

Part of him was a little unnerved by his lack of words regarding Felix’s role in the case of the Professor’s falling. Having been on edge since they parted ways that afternoon, he had taken to beating the stress away on the defenseless training dummies that were slowly being chipped away or torn. And now, well.

Now he just wanted to wring the used towel around the boy’s neck to get it over with.

“Just know, I’m only telling you because you won’t hear it from Annette or Mercedes, or even Dorethea. I doubt they even know of this since it’s not taught when learning either reason or faith.”

“You’re pissing me off, Lindhart.”

“Just, just calm down for a second and listen.”

~*~

When Lindhart left from his room with a look of concern and pity, Felix was still leant up against his desk. Brows furrowed and pinched, lips pressed tight and hands clenching the wood beneath him. Remaining still and frozen as his mind raced to catch up with the overload of information the boy dropped on him, despite only a few matters actually pertaining to Felix.

He was angry, pissed, annoyed, scared, confused, and...

And he was making a quick and quiet trek from out his room, down the hall and short set of steps, down the stairs and across the cold grass that seeped into his socks. Distantly in his mind, he was grateful to have pulled a dark navy hoodie he had laying around over his head that matched that of Ashe’s and Bernie’s, leaving it for particularly cold nights and because he didn’t like the way it felt beneath his school uniform.

He was at her door in less than three minutes, sparing one single knock before he allowed himself inside.

“Did you know?” He found himself saying quietly with a hint of urgency, stopping short when he turned back around from closing the set of doors to see her asleep.

Cheek rested heavily upon her fist and supported by the desk beneath her, papers to be graded were sprawled out around her and showing deployment plans they all drew up after the lecture from Lady Rhea. Felix couldn’t even decide what was worse; the fact that she fell asleep in a chair while attending to her duties as a professor and exhausting herself, or that she fell asleep in a chair and hadn’t bothered to change into nightwear.

“Professor,” he tried in a hushed tone as he knelt by her chair, a hand to the wooden back and one nudging her knee. “Professor, wake up.”

She jolted, eyes in a masked state of panic and staring ahead of her as the knee he touched slammed upwards into the desk. Felix had the reflexes to pull back in time and feel the tension under the skin that prewarned him before within a split second, yet he still allowed his hand to break the inevitable contact her knee would’ve painfully made and cushioned the impact.

He winced, but didn’t say anything as he kept his eyes down.

She blinked before her hands that had flown to clamp down on the edge of the desk eased and she looked down by her side to see it was Felix who woke her.

“Oh, oh goddess,” she rushed, tone already going soft with him and more expressive with a touch of her feminine side. “Felix, I had no idea it was you. Your hand, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He started, looking up at her with a hint of a comforting smile. It quickly dropped when he remembered the reason he came. “I actually stopped by to ask you something.”

She only stared at him, dark eyes still reflecting quit and concern.

“Did you know-, I mean. Lindhart stopped by. He told me a few things regarding one of my orders in the new deployment plan.”

“What is it?”

“That if you should fall and Sylvain is unable to fetch you to keep you in front of him or behind and within his sights before making it to aid, I’m the one to carry you and heal you.”

“What about it? If it’s the carrying thing, then we don’t have to do it. I didn’t plan to make you carry anyone else like I did with the other boys besides Ashe and Sylvain.”

“No it’s not,” he let out a frustrated growl as fingers weaved their way into his the trapped hairs of his tied hair. “It’s not about carrying you. I can do that just fine and rely on reason and a levin sword if needed. It’s about what comes with being a resort for you should you fall.”

“You look upset.”

“I don’t know if I am or not. I know I would be before...”

“It’s okay.”

“Lindhart,” he started, pulling them back on topic. “He told me that a minor user has their limits and risks. And that he discovered this while reading a book one day, but if I’m to carry you while you’re injured -and it doesn’t matter whether I’m injured or not as well- and I try to heal you,” he bit his lip for a moment before catching her gaze. “I’m essentially sharing my health with you, splitting it. How it’s not brought forth by the same spiritual essence that natural healing spells are from, but from my own if I’m distracted or occupied with someone physically in my hold.”

“You’re joking,” she started, standing up as he did with her. “Had I known, I would have never. Felix, I’m not going to be the reason why your physical suffers.”

“He says because I only minor in it and haven’t given it my full focus like he and the majority of the girls in our class have, I’m prone to making this mistake. And it’s a binding or a bond of some sorts that isn’t know how long to last.”

“Then we take that responsibility away from you. Leave it to Sylvain to find me and carry me off until I can be tended to.”

“I never said I wouldn’t do it.”

“I,” Byleth seemed at a loss for words as she looked at him. Eyeing his laxly dressed state like it held answers.

“The binding, bonding, linking, whatever the hell it is. All it does is make one another adept to what the other is feeling both physically and mentally. He said that at most it lasts a few weeks before it dwindles down and becomes mute. I don’t care about that, if it happens then it happens and it’s better it does then I fail in protecting you.”

She faltered, “But your health.”

“My health will be fine in the end if it’s still there. Whether we share it or not, the main objective is that we both survive any battle thrown our way. I can be fixed when Mercedes or Lindhart does their job to finish what I started in a more precisely.”

She turned away from him, grabbing at night clothes that were already laid out on her bed and eyeing him to turn the other way for her to change.

For her to not look at his face for a second.

He heard the shuffling of her changing as he faced the doors again, head tilted in her direction and cheeks burning due to their situation. His eyes remained on the floor.

“You’re upset with me.”

“Felix, I’m not upset with you. I’m, I’m upset with myself.” He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse, a frown still pulling at his features. “Had I known the risks and repercussions of a thoughtless preplanned idea, I wouldn’t have made it. I’m not going to risk your health or sanity of whatever this link or bond, whatever the hell it’s called, just to be safe for myself to fulfill Rhea’s orders.”

“It was something in Latin,” he replied.

“What?”

He still faced away from her, hands in his front pockets of the hooded garment and running a bruising knuckle over the soft cotton in it.

“The name of the thing, it was in Latin.”

“What about it?”

“I don’t know. I just know it was Latin and I can’t remember it. Just call it a ‘binding’ for now.”

He could feel her approach behind him and still kept his back to her. “Why would I call it anything? There’s no point to remembering it in the first place.”

“You’re remembering it because it’s inevitable that we’ll go through it.”

“Felix, I’m not-,”

“A shield. That’s what I told you I would be from now on. A shield for you. A shield in the shadows that can protect you without anyone realizing it.” He went still when he felt her arms wind around his waist and hold his front, burying inside his pocket and meeting his hands, fingers stroking over his already faintly bruised knuckles. He relaxed into her touch and leaned back a fraction when her cheek rested against the middle of his back, eyes falling closed in comfort. “I may not be the Boar or Sylvain in full armor with a horse, not even Ashe with hisridiculously trained eye for distant enemies, but I know how to hold my own. And I know you better than most I think; I doubt you act as open and soft around anyone else besides me.”

Her silence was enough of an answer before she held him tighter.

“I figured. I know how difficult it is to open to someone like this, I can’t remember the last time I felt this at ease besides when Glenn was still,” he let his jaw clench for one, two, five seconds. “Yeah...it’s not easy, and finding that person is like a balm to damaged nerves. Once you find them, it’s like you’re a different person altogether. Not speaking a word during the day and having a plethora of thoughts sitting on the tip of your tongue to tell them in the dark.”

She nosed his back a little, “I’ve been, I think I’ve missed you.”

“I know, Byleth.” His lips twitched when her fingers faltered in their soothing strokes against his knuckles. “I think I’ve missed you too.”

That damn light and airy foreign chuckle left him when he felt her tug him back a step before slipping away.

“I want to sleep,” she glanced to her bed once, “are you staying?”

“That’s okay, I should probably,” he stopped as she held his face and thumbed under his eye then cheek.

“You haven’t slept, again.”

“I haven’t slept again.”

She tilted her head towards the already open display of blankets, “Does it help if you stay here?”

He shifted on his feet, feeling the soft fabric long sleeve of a different robe of hers shifting down with her hand that was partially covered, laying it against the side of his neck and running her thumb along his jawline.

“You don’t have to answer that, even if it doesn’t help, you’re welcomed to try it again.”

He held along her covered arms, hands sliding to hold her wrists and look her over. “How are you doing?”

“Honestly?”

He rolled his eyes, “No, tell me the lie.”

“I’m perfectly okay.” She joked too lightly, earning a smile from Felix. “But honestly? I’m not too great.”

He gave her a soft smile once more and pulled her close, indulging in the lost and forgotten remnants of what he shouldve grown to be alongside his friends before Glenn passed, and the cooling touch of her comfort she gave him.

“No one’s asking you to be perfectly okay. But don’t overexert yourselfin the efforts to keep up the front. Leave lessons if you have to, take a day off if needed. Have us just read for a lesson if you can’t bring yourself to teach.” He laughed, air rushing across her hair as his chin rested on her head. “Hell, come spar with me to get out that pent up anger.”

“You’re willing to take that risk?” The girl mused into his chest.

“I will beat you someday, I’ve made that clear.”

“Mhm,” she took that teasing tone with him again. One that she displayed to the class among the boys the most to settle their hyper masculinity and put them in place. She mostly took it with Sylvain compared to the rest -namely Caspar. But with Sylvain, it was the only way she seemed to converse with him aside from the occasional lifeless voice and bland expression she once held for so long before she warmed up to the class. “And what a life changing day that’ll be, huh?”

He pulled away from her, crossing his arms and looking down into her gaze as he titled his head.

“You assume you know me so well, don’t you?”

“I like to think I know you pretty well,” she thought for a second. “Like today in class, I knew you would hold my weight in a technical form that wouldn’t bother me physically. And I figured how the rest of the boys would do as well.”

“Oh, and that means?”

“You’re not the type to grab a woman like Caspar or Sylvain.” She batted her eyes once at him in confusion. “What’s this have to do with anything?”

Felix’s chest puffed like he had been insulted, blowing a slow breath out as he bent down a fraction and grasped behind her thigh. Despite her voicing her obliviousness and uncertainty, he hitched one up to her hip while leaning forwards and grabbed the other before hiking her up over his hips, locked around his stomach and feet crossed at back.

Her cheeks rapidly grew hot as her hands fidgeted into fists on his shoulders. She opened her mouth to speak, but failed to bring forth any words.

“Don’t assume you know me at least. Even I’m still figuring things out.”

He pushed a strand of bangs back from her forehead that fell over her eyes, keeping her supported with one arm. She flinched her teals shut, “Things like?”

“Myself, the world,” he paused. “You.”

He set her back down, waiting for her to gather herself and make way to her bed. “I’m tired.”

“I know, Byleth.”

She laid down, shifting to the wall and closing her eyes. She blindly moved her pillow away from her and up before settling. Felix moved to lay besides her and offered his arm for her to rest her head.

“You know I have to leave before everyone wakes, right?” He asked once her forehead rested against his chest. She slipped a small and strong arm over his waist as he did the same.

“I know. But for now, let’s just enjoy the solitude of the darkness?”

“Sure, we can do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments so I can write more, thank you!


End file.
